LAS VEGAS (KLAS) – Twelve years ago aspiring musician Michael Portaro, 22, was shot and killed.
8 News Now spoke with his mother about the years of guilt she has carried and how she is using that pain to help others.
It was tragedy after tragedy for Cynthia Portaro who told 8 News Now there were days when she just didn’t want to continue after the loss of her loved ones.
“The last thing I said to Michael was I love you and I am proud of you,” she recalled. “The last thing I said to my daughter was to be safe out there.”
Portaro endures the pain of losing not just one child, but two.
“In 2011 my son was murdered,” she said.
Her son was murdered in March of 2011 and six months later her daughter Christina died in an ATV accident.
In 2014, her husband lost his battle with cancer.
“They never did anything wrong but they were healthy members of society,” Potaro added. Michael was the victim of a robbery outside a bar on Tenaya Way near Cheyenne Avenue.
“We worked together so he asked me if he could leave work early … sorry … to sell tickets for a concert he was performing in,” Portaro said.
That’s when her son was shot. Now, she’s taking her loss and putting it to use by helping others.
“I just have a desire to show people there’s a way to walk through this journey of trauma and grief,” she said.
As for her personal healing journey — it was forgiving her son’s killer, who now sits in prison.
“If I am going to portray to be a faithful woman [then] I have to love and [that’s] what it is about,” Portaro added.
In her most recent book talking about her grief, she read to 8 News Now Ozzy Mora part of a letter she wrote to the man convicted of her son’s murder.
“I do not know what to say to you right now … I don’t have hate or have revenge against you. Even though my heart is broken and grieving for my baby … I must turn to the promises of God that Mikey’s life has a great purpose,” read Portaro.
She wants to bring hope to those going through grief.
“I am now coaching people through the journey and how to walk through what I say what you would never get over,” Portaro said.
She added that she couldn’t get through the heartache alone.
Ozzy: “Are you ever over grief?”
“No, you learn how to navigate through something you will never get over,” Licensed therapist Kimberly Malloy said.
She added that it’s a process.
“I always encourage people don’t let their pain be in vain, if you want to do something about that then do something that will help heal that,” she said.
As for Portaro, she wants those to know who are going through grief that it’s okay to cry.
Portaro added that she will start a group via Zoom in September that will walk people through the journey of any emotional pain.
She wants to clarify she’s not a professional counselor, but she will guide her clients to get the adequate care they need.
Those interested can find more information on her Facebook page or website.
